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Dream Deity
Feb. 21st, 2022 12:00 amIdentifying as a dream deitykin put a lot of pressure on my dreams. Yes, all my noemata comes from my dreams and I am definitely magical and have all my abilities, that hasn't changed. The only thing about dream deity that I didn't feel naturally was the supposed ability to affect people's dreams. This is because I never had that ability within my dreams themselves. It was the only thing that didn't fit how I saw myself.
I confirmed dream deity because I had been looking for a label for what I was within my dreams and someone asked if I identified as a dream entity and that got me thinking. I confirmed this identity very quickly and do not regret that, I knew it was the next step in my journey.
Now I am questioning something else because the label dream deitykin wasn't enough. I still identified as an animal, so I was questioning being a polykin or being a shapeshifter with animal forms. Neither of them felt right. I have always seen myself as one thing and though I asked the community about their polykin experiences, I just couldn't relate. Shapeshifter made more sense and I tried to talk myself into not being a therian but being a shapeshifter and trying to accept that. I have tried to label myself as a shapeshifter for years, but it has not been satisfying. I still felt like one thing.
"With my kin identity.. I'm not where I want to be and I feel annoyed"
"I just don't feel like I know my true self and I am exhausted trying to find it"
Dream deitykin just didn't feel like it and I was getting really disheartened. Is nothing I find ever going to be the right fit? I thought this was it, my square peg for a square hole. Why didn't I feel.. complete? Am I asking too much? Am I looking for something that doesn't exist? Why can't I settle, why do I keep questioning.
Right now I am twisting the dream deitykin identity. I am letting go of the dream part and the noemata from my dreams. Those are still me, still my experience but I am not labeling them as a kintype for now but as an alterhuman lucid dreamer. It is part of my identity, like being dog-hearted but I am trying it out as not my kin identity.
Instead I am questioning a folcinteric hare identity.
When I realized I still identified as an animal very deeply and that I feel like I am one animal. I started to think about my journey so far. I immediately knew I was a prey animal because of my history. I wasn't really seriously looking for something, but I didn't have anything to do anyway so I just let my mind wander. The first animal that popped into my mind was hare so I did some googling, seeing things I had researched when I identified as a hare therian and then I went to tumblr and looked into the hare therian tag. I came across a mountain hare otherkin, who said they were technically otherkin and not therian because in their past life they were created by a goddess and they had certain magical memories. This very strongly spoke to me and my deity identity. I went into my notes on hares, where I had gathered information on folklore around hares. A few months ago, I had written a post on hares from a folcinteric perspective and the information came flooding back. I did more research into the myths around hares. They are connected to the divine (deitykin), to witches (right before confirming deitykin I thought I might be a magic otherhuman), to genderfluidity, to the moon -- all things my identity is connected to. I found understanding come over me. What if I am a folcinteric hare? It is one identity, an animal identity and yet in it it encompasses all my other identities.
I remembered identifying as a hare therian. When I had made this list of things I knew about my animal self, hares seemed to fit very well. They fit certain phantom shifts I have. They fit my body image and movement. I even have this tick since I was a little kid of twitching my nose. But it felt like I wasn't a hare therian because I wasn't animalistic enough like other therians. Encompassing the folkloric side of the hare, really opens this identity up.
I also feel really close to the folcinteric hare identity through my birth, which was on an Easter Monday. Usually I look at my identities from a psychological lense, or a neurodiverse one. I heavily believed I was only alterhuman because I am autistic but this possible identity has opened me up to spirituality. It had already started a little with my stronger growing connection to the moon and actually talking to her like a deity. As a deitykin myself, I was therefore convinced of a connection to the moon. Now the spiritual lense has really opened up for me. There could be a bit of imprinting as a child, having my birthday around Easter which in my country is represented by the hare, but mostly I haven't had contact with bunnies or hares.
This is all going really fast. I am going to try this on and see where it leads. I feel like some people don't need much to feel confident in their identity, it's as if I need so much confirmation. I see how other people awakened and feel like I need something similar. Some monumental spiritual experience, and then that will make me feel sure and secure and settled. But this is my journey and it will go however it goes...
I confirmed dream deity because I had been looking for a label for what I was within my dreams and someone asked if I identified as a dream entity and that got me thinking. I confirmed this identity very quickly and do not regret that, I knew it was the next step in my journey.
Now I am questioning something else because the label dream deitykin wasn't enough. I still identified as an animal, so I was questioning being a polykin or being a shapeshifter with animal forms. Neither of them felt right. I have always seen myself as one thing and though I asked the community about their polykin experiences, I just couldn't relate. Shapeshifter made more sense and I tried to talk myself into not being a therian but being a shapeshifter and trying to accept that. I have tried to label myself as a shapeshifter for years, but it has not been satisfying. I still felt like one thing.
"With my kin identity.. I'm not where I want to be and I feel annoyed"
"I just don't feel like I know my true self and I am exhausted trying to find it"
Dream deitykin just didn't feel like it and I was getting really disheartened. Is nothing I find ever going to be the right fit? I thought this was it, my square peg for a square hole. Why didn't I feel.. complete? Am I asking too much? Am I looking for something that doesn't exist? Why can't I settle, why do I keep questioning.
Right now I am twisting the dream deitykin identity. I am letting go of the dream part and the noemata from my dreams. Those are still me, still my experience but I am not labeling them as a kintype for now but as an alterhuman lucid dreamer. It is part of my identity, like being dog-hearted but I am trying it out as not my kin identity.
Instead I am questioning a folcinteric hare identity.
When I realized I still identified as an animal very deeply and that I feel like I am one animal. I started to think about my journey so far. I immediately knew I was a prey animal because of my history. I wasn't really seriously looking for something, but I didn't have anything to do anyway so I just let my mind wander. The first animal that popped into my mind was hare so I did some googling, seeing things I had researched when I identified as a hare therian and then I went to tumblr and looked into the hare therian tag. I came across a mountain hare otherkin, who said they were technically otherkin and not therian because in their past life they were created by a goddess and they had certain magical memories. This very strongly spoke to me and my deity identity. I went into my notes on hares, where I had gathered information on folklore around hares. A few months ago, I had written a post on hares from a folcinteric perspective and the information came flooding back. I did more research into the myths around hares. They are connected to the divine (deitykin), to witches (right before confirming deitykin I thought I might be a magic otherhuman), to genderfluidity, to the moon -- all things my identity is connected to. I found understanding come over me. What if I am a folcinteric hare? It is one identity, an animal identity and yet in it it encompasses all my other identities.
I remembered identifying as a hare therian. When I had made this list of things I knew about my animal self, hares seemed to fit very well. They fit certain phantom shifts I have. They fit my body image and movement. I even have this tick since I was a little kid of twitching my nose. But it felt like I wasn't a hare therian because I wasn't animalistic enough like other therians. Encompassing the folkloric side of the hare, really opens this identity up.
I also feel really close to the folcinteric hare identity through my birth, which was on an Easter Monday. Usually I look at my identities from a psychological lense, or a neurodiverse one. I heavily believed I was only alterhuman because I am autistic but this possible identity has opened me up to spirituality. It had already started a little with my stronger growing connection to the moon and actually talking to her like a deity. As a deitykin myself, I was therefore convinced of a connection to the moon. Now the spiritual lense has really opened up for me. There could be a bit of imprinting as a child, having my birthday around Easter which in my country is represented by the hare, but mostly I haven't had contact with bunnies or hares.
This is all going really fast. I am going to try this on and see where it leads. I feel like some people don't need much to feel confident in their identity, it's as if I need so much confirmation. I see how other people awakened and feel like I need something similar. Some monumental spiritual experience, and then that will make me feel sure and secure and settled. But this is my journey and it will go however it goes...
